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Another Crazy Away Day.

5 Apr

It was another crazy idea. I planned to travel by notoriously unreliable public transport on a 250 mile round trip to watch a low-quality, non-League football match. Against all common sense, I wanted to support my home- town team of Chesterfield FC, even though they had sunk to the 5th tier of English football and even though I had not seen them win or even score a goal all season. In fact it seemed as if they reserved their worst performances for when I went to see them! Maybe they sensed my presence and would then crumble under the extra pressure of my expectation. My friend, V, a fellow “Spireite” supporter, had threatened to take out an injunction to prevent me from attending matches, as it definitely seemed that I was the team’s bad luck charm. However, in theory, I am not superstitious and so decided to go again anyway. The team’s results had improved under a new manager, so surely, they wouldn’t lose and fail to score yet again? It was to be a day of crazy ups and downs. All real football fans are masochists and this was to be a typical masochistic day out.

I live near Teesside on the North Yorkshire coast, so even a Chesterfield home fixture is a time consuming away- day for me. I like the relaxation and adventure of train travel rather than the boredom of motorway driving. However, the relaxation only materialises if the journey goes to schedule, with no late trains and/or missed connections. A lovely day of reading my book and looking at the scenary, can easily turn into a nightmare of uncertainty and stress. Unfortunately, this was to be partly one of those days, but it did have a couple of wonderful surprises as well.

The alarm clock rudely awoke me at 7am and by just gone 8am my wife was dropping me off at Saltburn rail station, a couple of miles down the road. Even though in early March, the worst of the winter was supposed to be behind us, I stepped out of the car into freezing temperatures and driving sleet. The station looked ominously deserted as I approached it. Was I the only passenger daft enough to venture out at this time on a cold weekend morning? I looked at the departures screen and then I understood the reason for the lack of fellow passengers — the 8.17am train had been cancelled due to engine failure. The next train was not due for a whole hour. I would miss all my connections and maybe even miss the match! What to do? I hastened up to the nearby bus stop in the forlorn hope that there would be a bus to transport me to Middlesbrough, the town where the cancelled train would have taken me. By a stroke of sheer luck ( not that I’m superstitious!) there was a bus in ten minutes. Miraculously it appeared out of the sleet on time, and I boarded it along with 3 or 4 other shivering passengers. It was a tedious journey, diverting through housing estates and ploughing through ominously large lakes of standing water left by recent heavy rain. It seemed that we were finally nearing Middlesbough when yet another detour took us to a desolate bus depot on the edge of the town. Our bus had developed a mechanical fault so we all had to troop off and board another vehicle! You couldn’t make it up! Another 5 to 10 minutes wasted.

By the time we got to Middlesbrough bus station, I had already missed my connection for Darlington, the next stop on my “exciting” journey to the north midlands. I ran in the rain through the town centre to the train station but I already knew I wasn’t going to catch a train. The connection I had missed was a dreaded bus-replacement service. There were weekend engineering works on the line. I had to stand and shiver for 25 minutes in a windy subway until my bus finally came. I had missed the previous bus by 5 minutes. More time lost! When the coach finally rolled up it was comfortable and warm but we set off over 5 minutes late because an African lady turned up and wasn’t sure which bus she had to catch. The driver and an inspector had great trouble in understanding her accent so took an inordinately long time to advise her to get on.

I hate bus replacement services! They never go their destinations by the most direct route because they are constantly detouring to visit the next rail station. We ground through housing estates and past retail parks, constantly stopping at traffic lights and getting stuck in traffic jams caused by temporary road works. It was tedious! We visited 5 intermediate stations with no one getting off and only one person getting on. We all sat there, anxiously looking at our watches because we knew we were almost certainly going to miss our mainline connections at Darlington. I missed mine of course. I finally got to Darlington station a full 2 hours after setting off from Saltburn. The journey usually takes about 55 minutes.

I trudged disconsolately into the station, resigned to being held up for at least another hour. However, to my amazement, on the far platform, I saw a train in the red and grey livery of the Cross Country rail company. All those trains stop at or near to Chesterfield on their journey south. I broke into a 69 year old’s version of a sprint. As I neared the platform I heard the guard’s whistle blow. Was I going to miss it by a matter of seconds? I went into overdrive and hurled myself towards the nearest door. Luckily the guard spotted me and waved me on. Another big stroke of luck was that this train had old-fashioned manual doors. If it had had the automatic, electric doors of more modern trains, they would have been closed 30 seconds before departure. I made it on to the train with 10 seconds to spare! I slumped exhausted but elated into a seat. Not only was the train nearly empty but it was also stopping at Chesterfield! I didn’t even have to change at Sheffield as I would have done on the service I had missed. My luck had suddenly changed and I was now almost back on schedule despite all the mishaps on the way to Darlington.

It was a lovely, quiet, smooth journey. I read my book and admired some of the countryside outside the window as the wet weather had now cleared. The only disappointment was that there was no refreshment trolley service because of staff shortages. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard that announcement. However, I got a thrill at York when I saw the famous locomotive “The Flying Scotsman”, in full steam just outside the National Railway Museum. Being the son of a British Rail engine driver and an avid train spotter in my youth, I still feel a genuine quiver of excitement run up my spine when I spot a steam locomotive. The day was at last looking up!

We slid quietly into Chesterfield only about 25 minutes behind my original schedule. It was now that I got the most incredible and fantastic surprise of the whole day. The station platform seemed to be unusually crowded with men of a certain age. Most of them had cameras and some had even erected tripods. What on earth was happening? Surely Chesterfield was not going to be blessed with a Royal visit? Thankfully the answer to that question was “no”. The truth was actually much more exciting. On a little used side platform of Chesterfield station stood a magnificent steam locomotive  — huge, red, with a gleaming name plate and striking smoke deflectors (or shields.) It was at the head of a steam enthusiasts’ special and was about to depart. As it slowly started to ease forward I heard that familier ( and thrilling) “chuff, chuff” sound as it momentarily disappeared into  spectacular, swirling clouds of  smoke and steam. To me it looked like the famous LMS express locomotive The “Royal Scot” which I had only seen once. However when I enquired of a fellow “anorak” poised behind his tripod, I found it was the ” Duchess of Sutherland”, number 6233, a very rare and special locomotive from the 1930s that I had never seen before. It was a “Coronation” class of locomotive built at the time of the crownings of Kings Edward VIII and George VI in 1936. It used to pull the London Euston to Glasgow expresses on the West Coast mainline. It was the LMS’s answer to the East Coast’s famous A4 Gresley Pacifics, the Mallard et al. I had seen a “Coronation” locomotive at the National Railway Museum, but had never, ever seen one in steam and in action before. For an ageing trainspotter like myself it was a thrilling and unique moment. Little did I know when I was waiting for my bus in the early morning sleet that I was actually heading for this wonderful moment. If I had gone on my scheduled train or if I had been a few seconds later at Darlington, I would have missed seeing this altogether. Suddenly, despite my athiestic tendencies, I said to myself: “There is a God afterall!” I quickly put my smartphone into camera mode and rattled off 4 shots of “Duchess of Sutherland” as “she” chugged majestically past me.  Now I had something to prove that this incredible surprise was not really just a dream. ( and something to bore my friends with.)

Still stunned, I marched up into the town of my birth, heading towards the striking sight of Chesterfield’s wierd but wonderful crooked spire. Although I grew up with it, this strange church spire still has the capacity to surprise me. As I got close up to it, the 13th century spire reared up in front of me, twisting like a giant corkscrew towards the sky. Apparently, the spire twisted as a result of being built with unseasoned timbers which subsequently warped over time. Local legend has it that the spire of St Mary’s will straighten on the day a virgin goes in to get married! Remedial work had to be carried out 20 to 30 years ago as the spire was in danger of collapsing. The work kept its crooked or twisted shape, thus preserving one of Chesterfield’s main claims to fame. It wouldn’t be the same if it was boring and straight like every other church spire in the country.  Imagine visiting Pisa and finding the famous tower wasn’t leaning anymore. It’s their unusual imperfections that make Pisa’s Leaning Tower and Chesterfield’s Crooked Spire so memorable and special.

I now settled comfortably into my usual Chesterfield away day routine. I had a lovely lunch at the Stephenson’s Coffee and Tea Rooms where I am greeted like an old friend — the strange, grey -haired man who travels from the north east to the north midlands to see a lower league football match. Who are they playing today? Do you think they’ll win? I’ve been going there for several years now. The Coffee and Tea rooms are named after George Stephenson, the “Father of the Railways”, who spent his later years in the town. There is a statue of him outside Chesterfield’s rail station. He is shown holding a model of his first successful locomotive: Locomotion No 1. Next I have a wander through the town centre, a familier mish-mash of old and new. A highlight is the sloping, cobbled market place, the largest open- air market in England. Overlooked by a grand, clock-towered Victorian market hall and bordered by some of the town’s oldest buildings, it gives more than a hint of a Flemish, medieval market square.  Grabbing a sandwich to eat on my return journey I now walked out to the football stadium about 2 miles out of the centre. The modern Proact stadium is built on the site of an old glass works where my dad used to work before he joined the railways. The walk out there is along a dreary, noisy main road but I do it anyway to get some exercise and fresh air ( apart from the traffic fumes.)

At the ground I sought out my cousin and his friend for a chat. They drive up from Malvern, south of Birmingham, to see the match. I also caught up with the Methodist Minister of my parent’s chapel as he has a season ticket and keeps me up to date with football as well as chapel news. I then took my seat in the east stand and the match began. We were playing Eastleigh, a team I had had never heard of before Chesterfield dropped down into the obscure depths of non-league football. Apparently they are based in the Southampton area. They were doing very well and were a lot higher than Chesterfield who, despite an improvement, were still dangerously hovering just above the relegation zone. Would my luck change? Would I at last see a Chesterfield goal? Was there a God afterall?

Well reader — we scored after 20 minutes! A huge roar erupted around me as we all leapt to our feet and punched the air. Perfect strangers slapped each other on the back and shared exclamations of delight. I was thrilled. My duck had at at last been broken! I had seen a man in a blue shirt put the ball into the net. All the trials and tribulations of the journey were suddenly worth it. Chesterfield scored again early in the second half. Surely I was now going to witness a victory? It would be a truly memorable day! But it wasn’t to be. Our defence collapsed and we conceded three. The last goal, in the 84th minute was like a sickening punch in the stomach. It had been another emotional roller coaster of a match. Even though we eventually lost ( again!), I had experienced adrenaline rushes and warm camaraderie with perfect strangers. That would never have happened if I had stayed at home to read my paper or watch the telly. It’s what live sport is all about!

And so came the return journey — the walk back into town, a smooth train journey back to Darlington. However, problems with the line around Northallerton meant we got in late. Once again. I missed my rail replacement bus service to Middlesbrough. A group of us hung around in the evening cold, starved of any information about the next bus. People in high-vis yellow jackets gave us conflicting information. After 20 minutes or so, a coach came in and after an inexplicable wait of 15 minutes , the driver finally let us get on. The trouble is, as soon as we all got on, the driver got off! He was going for his statutory rest break. It was now 8.30pm and the coach wasn’t due out until 9.09pm. One of my fellow passengers got angry and became embroiled in an argument with one of the female yellow jackets. She was given chapter and verse about the rules governing rest breaks, something the yellow jacket was an expert on because she used to run a haulage company. That seemed to miss the point that there should have been more buses and more drivers so that the poor, suffering passengers didn’t have to wait up to an hour before they could continue their journeys!

I was fed up and worried. All my previous elation at seeing the steam locomotives and seeing my team score 2 goals had now evaporated. If I waited on the bus for the next 40 minutes, it would then take about 50 minutes to grind its way to Middlesbrough, by which time it would be 10pm. Would there then be a train to finally get me back to Saltburn? I didn’t know. I was now tired as well as cold and fed up, so had a sudden rush of blood to the head. I got off the bus, visited a cash point on the station concourse then blew 30 quid on a taxi to Middlesbrough. It was an expensive, reckless act I know. Sometimes time and comfort are more important than money. I then picked up a bus within 10 minutes and was walking into the house about the same time as the bus replacement service would have been arriving at Middlesbough.

It was a day of exhilerating ups and dispiriting downs. My wife thought I was mad. You probably think I was mad. But I’m glad I did it. It was a big adventure — another crazy away day! Thanks for reading this.


Why I hate Manchester United.

16 Mar

I like to think I’m a quiet, easy-going, tolerant kind of guy. Most of the people who know me would probably agree. But there is another side to me — my alter-ego you might say. It seethes with hate. Underneath the apparent calm surface lies a boiling volcano that can erupt at any time. The other night I experienced one of these unexpected flare-ups of negative emotion. It partly spoilt my evening but I was helpless to change things — Manchester United had won their Champions’ league last- 16 match with a last minute, controversial penalty! Maybe it’s my imagination, but Manchester United seem to get a lot more than their fare share of dodgy decisions in their favour.

You see, like millions of others, I live in two parallel worlds. They are the real world and the football world. In the former I am usually pleasant, polite and sociable, but in the latter world, I am strapped helplessly to a roller-coaster of  irrational emotions, which are sometimes very difficult to control. These emotions can be both positive and negative. I experience exhilerating highs and dispiriting lows. Ordinary people would not understand. It is an alternative world only truly understood by die-hard football fans. It’s crazy to allow myself to be controlled by such trivial events such as sports contests. My intelligence and rational instincts tell me to rise above it and get things into proper perspective. But in sport, and especially in football, common sense and rationality are often thrown out of the window. Emotion is allowed to overcome reason. It’s a sudden surge of adrenaline, over which one has little control. Later on, once the match is over, things calm down and common sense returns. But those moments when one loses control are intoxicating and addictive.

That all sounds great. Football is an endlessly fascinating and exciting pastime for those who are into it. It provides an intoxicating alternative to our often mundane everyday lives. But, unfortunately, there is a dark side to being a football fan. As well as the positive aspect of supporting certain teams there is the negative side of “hating” certain other teams. We don’t really hate them of course. It’s just part of a childish game. But maybe this irrational hatred taps into deeper, more elemental aspects of human nature, traits that are usually kept buried and hidden from sight. So in some respects, maybe the pseudo loves and hates of football act as important safety valves, enabling fans to experience extreme emotions without them rearing up in and potentially ruining their real lives. One of my own inexplicable football “hates” is anything to do with Manchester United. I cannot really explain this hatred. I almost think it was born inside me. I am not alone. Manchester United are the most “hated” club in England. However, paradoxically, they are also the best supported club at the same time. It seems they polarise opinion. One either “loves” them or “hates” them. There is no middle ground it seems. The introduction to the Rough Guide to England explains that football ( soccer) is the national sport and involves many passionate rivalries, loves and hatreds. It explains that football fans all hate the team down the road but also  hate Manchester United ( except for United’s fans of course.) Although a joke, I think it’s partly true. That is certainly the case with me. I support Chesterfield FC, the Spireites, who have now sadly dropped out of the football league. I follow the fortunes of Arsenal in the Premier League. But I suffer from a deep loathing of Man Utd. It’s an affliction I have willingly carried through my life. I am 69 now and I should know better! I cannot really explain this despite the title of this piece. However, I will try to, although many of my reasons don’t make sense when looked at in the cold light of day.

First of all, Man Utd is one of the wealthiest and most successful football clubs in the world. I have instinctively been a supporter of the underdog. So naturally, I don’t support United as they are richer than most of the teams they play. They have not had it their own way in recent years however, with the rise of Chelsea, owned by a massively wealthy Russian oligarch, and Manchester City, taken over as a PR project by the Abu Dhabi Royal family, who have unlimited oil wealth. So Man Utd fans have had to get used to being financial underdogs when squaring up to these particular rivals. But usually they play sides that are a lot poorer than them and so have a massive advantage. It seems so unfair to me , even though I know the first rule of life is that it is inherently unfair. I naturally support most sides that play them because it is a David vs Goliath situation. In their post war history Man Utd have had to play second fiddle to Tottenham in the 1960s, Leeds United in the early 70s and Liverpool in the 70s and 80s. Arsenal became big rivals in the 90s and noughties. However for much of that time United have been either at or near the top of the top league and a big explanation for that has to be their wealth. Now that the Premier League is awash with obscene amounts of TV money, the disparity between rich and poor clubs has become ever wider. I now also dislike Chelsea and Man City because their enormous spending power has swept away any idea of fair play in the football world.  They, Man Utd and a few others, remind me that top league football is now a big, capitalistic venture rather than a fair sporting contest. Wealthy clubs poach poorer clubs’ players, coaches and managers.  They are able to build bigger grounds so they earn more from their supporters’ entrance fees. They use their wealth and power to influence the game’s authorities by bending financial fair play rules. The clubs of the Premier League, which replaced the old First Division in around 1990, broke away from the rest of the Football league so they could keep more of the lucrative TV money for themselves. Not surprisingly, Man United was a leading light in this move which has starved many poorer and lower league clubs of much needed cash.

So reason number one for my dislike is Man United’s immense wealth. I also dislike other clubs who have bought success rather than earning it through hard work, skill and patience.

Another reason for my dislike is media bias. This is something that I could well be imagining. After all, I am viewing the situation through a prism of pseudo “hatred”. It’s a bit rich I know, accusing the media of bias when I am biased myself. But this is part of the football soap-opera. Most if not all football fans howl about perceived injustices meeted out to their club while other clubs apparantly receive more favourable treatment. So here is my irrational rant. I think that commentators are supposed to be neutral, dispassionate and objective. But it seems to be that when they are describing a Man Utd match they often look at events from United’s point of view. When a goal is scored by their opponants it is seen as a setback for United . When United score they purr with delight. When Man Utd are only 6th in the top league it is perceived as a crisis and described so in the media. When this happened recently, the manager was duly sacked because United fans expect a constant diet of success. Thus their recent revival has been met with glee in the press with constant articles about how the caretaker manager, Solskjaer, should now be appointed on a permanent basis. Why all this focus on and fuss about one club and their pampered supporters? The other night when United scored their last minute, disputed winner against Paris St Germain, the Sky sports pundits couldn’t wipe the smiles from their faces and one was punching the air in delight. Hardly objective commentary. You might say they were just being patriotic except that there are very few English players in the current United squad and the team is managed by a Norwegian who took over from a Portuguese. The match was just one bunch of highly paid foreign mercenaries against another.( Paris St Germain are awash with money as well.) Would such biased jubilation be displayed if another team had won? Social media such as BBC Sport online, trumpeted United’s “sensational” last minute win with banner head lines. To be so overtly celebrating the victory of a club that has been sated with success over the years seemed to be a bit over-the top. But I would say that wouldn’t I? Some would say it’s jealousy and sour grapes.

I think this media love-in with Manchester United goes right back to 1958 and the tragic Munich air disaster. In the 50s, United had been one of the first British teams to get involved in the fledgeling European Cup. A team of talented youngsters managed by Matt Busby had made it to the semi-final against Red Star Belgrade. They were affectionally known as the “Busby Babes.” They won their match in the then capital of Yugoslavia. On the return flight their plane had to refuel in Munich, Germany. Taking off in very wintry conditions the plane crashed on the runway. The pilot had failed to go through the proper de-icing procedure. 20 of the 44 on board died at the scene and 3 more later died in hospital. Several of the dead were young team members. Tragically, the Busby babes had been decimated. Understandably, there was a great outpouring of public grief back in England. I was only 8 at the time but I remember my whole family being stunned. In the wake of this disaster came a powerful surge of sympathy for the bereaved, the survivors and the club as a whole. I’m sure that’s when Manchester United found a special place in the hearts of many football supporters, across the whole country and the World beyond.

I vividly remember one incident. A popular TV quiz show at the time was “Double Your Money.” Contestants answered increasingly difficult questions and the prize money was doubled for each correct answer. For the final question which was worth a thousand pounds( a lot of money in those days), the contestant had to sit in a small, soundproof box . Bobby Charlton, a teenage survivor of the air crash came on the show — an early example of a “celebrity” getting involved in a TV show to boost its ratings. Charlton got to the last question but expressed extreme nervousness about going into the claustraphobic “box” because of the ordeal he had suffered in the aeroplane. Not surprisingly, there was great sympathy for his plight and he was given special permission to answer the final question without entering the confines of the “box.” I think he got it right! This incident revived the special sympathy and affection that the terrible air-crash had garnered for United. A decade after the crash, in 1968, a new version of the Busby babes, including Charlton, became the first English team to win the European Cup when they beat Benfica 4-1 in the final. This triumph further cemented their place as a “special” team in the hearts of many fans. You could say that they were England’s first “celebrity” club, reaching out to many people way beyond Manchester.

Man Utd’s reputation as the country’s most glamorous club was further enhanced by its attraction of star players such as Bobby Charlton, Denis Law and George Best. Best in particular became of of Britain’s first major sports celebrities, his glamorous life-style of “wine, women and song” as well as his brilliant play, attracting constant attention from the media. At one point, Best, with his long shaggy hair, was dubbed “the 5th Beatle.”

Reading all this, you might think that I too would have become a massive Man Utd fan. However, being an awkward, perverse sort of character, my dislike of them grew in inverse proportion to the affection of others. The more popular they became, the more I disliked them. I disliked what I preceived to be their preferential treatment by the media. To me, there always seemed to be a media bias in United’s favour ( there still is in my view.) This offended my sense of fairness. Being an idealist, I believed all clubs should be treated equally. Thus, I naturally gravitated to less glamorous, less wealthy and less successful clubs. Fir instance, as well as supporting my home town, lower-league club, Chesterfield FC, I had a soft spot for little, unfashionable Burnley back in the 1960s. I actually lived inManchester when I was a student and young teacher from 1968 to 72 but chose to watch Manchester City rather than join the chorus of adulation for United down the road. I did go to United’s Old Trafford a few times and marvelled at the skills of Best, Law and Charlton, but I was always supporting the opposition. I remember Best scoring a brilliant solo goal against Sheffield United but didn’t cheer it because I was shouting for “The Blades.”

Those experiences in the 50s and 60s set the pattern for subsequent decades, right up to the present time. Manchester United have continued to be Britain’s most “glamorous” club and the medias “darlings”, even though they spent quite a few years in the football wilderness. They enjoyed sustained success under Alex Ferguson from the 1990s  onwards, and. in my opinion, have bagged much more than their fair share of media attention. They are one of the most popular clubs around the world, probably only second to Real Madrid. People like success, so “fair weather” fans gravitate towards the most successful and richest clubs, to bask in their reflected glory. Supplementing and enhancing their football fame, United also have a prominant role in today’s “celebrity” culture. It’s no surprise that one of the biggest clebrities of all, David Beckham, played for Manchester United.

All this is anathema to me. I hate the vacuousness of the celebrity world and the media circus that follows it. Man Utd is not the only club involved of course, especially now that others have come into the money, but they are still leading players. Celebrity and wealth lead, in my opinion, to arrogance. Alex Ferguson, their most successful manager, personified this arrogance in my view. He talked dismissively of opponants without giving them proper respect. He teased and taunted them unmercifully. I remember Kevin Keegan’s famous on screen meltdown when, as manager of Newcastle United, he had been subjected to months of Ferguson’s barbed comments. Ferguson also allowed his players to aggressively surround referees and linespeople to try to bully them into changing their decisions. Alex Ferguson could be very aggressive himself, having been brought up in Govan, a very tough area of Glasgow. He was famous for his “hairdryer treatment” of his own players, tearing into them and if he wasn’t pleased with their performance. I don’t think he minded humiliating or frightening people with his withering remarks and naked bullying. After a cup defeat by Arsenal, he famously entered the dressing room in a fuming mood and kicked a football boot across the room. It famously hit David beckham in the face. Ferguson could be charming at times, but this intimidating nature would be smouldering, just below the surface. A bigger contrast with Arsenal’s erudite, intellectual, multi-lingual manager, Arsene Wenger. would be hard to imagine. I would find it impossible to support a club with a manager like Ferguson. To many fans, hungry for success at any price, the end justified the means. But I am repelled by such an approach to football management. To me it seemed that Alex Ferguson and Man Utd were a perfect fit.

United’s recent treatment of their post-Ferguson managers has been another source of my disapproval. David Moyes, a decent, earnest, hard-working football man, was sacked in his first season because he did not achieve instant success. Louis Van Gaal, a very experienced and previously successful Dutch manager, was sacked 2 days after United had one the FA Cup under his guidance. What was his crime? — well, his team were not playing the free- flowing, attacking football in the “United way.” Van Gaal’s treatment was particularly shoddy as the whole of the country knew of his demise before he was officially told. Even the “great” Jose Mourinho was given the boot because he was not meeting the insatiable United demand for attractive as well as successful football. Man Utd are far from unique in treating their employees poorly of course. Chelsea have become serial sackers of managers and even Leicester got rid of the sainted Claudio Ranieri just months after their incredible Premier League triumph.

I think certain clubs, including Manchester United, have an inflated sense of entitlement. They think it’s their destiny to be at the top and soon get restless and dissatisfied if a few matches are lost. I think such “fans” would do well to follow a less rich and powerful club for a while, perhaps one that is perennially struggling in the lower leagues and suffering from money shortages. They would then discover what being a true supporter is all about, one who supports his/her club through thick and thin irrespective of its success on the field.

I don’t really “hate” Manchester United of course. It’s all part of the black and white emotions that football fans exhibit in their alternative world. Let’s just say that because of: their wealth, their power, their celebrity status, the media bias towards them, their treatment of some of their personnel, their false sense of entitlement and, in my opinion, their arrogance, I don’t like them very much!


Into The Abyss — Twice in a Weekend.

29 Aug

I have a confession to make! I was born with an incurable disease. It seriously impinges on my life at times, although I have learnt to live with it. Periodically I travel to meet up with fellow sufferers. We offer each other solidarity and support, and these gatherings help us all to cope with our affliction and somehow keep going. Some have got serious doses of the disease such that it has come to completely dominate their lives. Luckily, I have a relatively mild version of it although it does flair up to fever pitch every now and again. The disease is called Spireiteitus. It is little known outside north-east Derbyshire in the English midlands, although I have personally met people from: Belgium, Spain, the USA and even Japan who have been affected by it.  So what is it? I know it sounds like an unsavoury skin disease but it is thankfully a lot less serious than that. It consists of a compulsion to support and slavishly follow the English lower league football team — Chesterfield FC. They are affectionately known as the Spireites because of the town church’s famously crooked or twisted spire. I was born there in the dim and distant year of 1949, and my dad, a fellow sufferer, initiated me into the highs and lows of Spireitehood sometime in the early 1960s. I have been a sufferer or addict ever since.

Spireiteitus affects all kinds of people — young, middle aged and old, men and women, disabled and able bodied. I have met a blind person who regularly attends games, listening to the commentary on the local radio and enjoying the roar of the crowd and the exciting atmosphere as the match eddies to and fro. Recently, I met a Spireite in a wheelchair who had travelled for 3 hours on a train to see them play in the north east. He wasn’t having a good day — he had fallen off the last train at Hartlepool because his wheelchair went careering off the side of the ramp. Then he found he couldn’t get into the booking office to collect his pre-paid ticket because there was a high ridge at the bottom of the door. I helped him out by getting his ticket for him. That’s the thing about being a football supporter — it’s like being in a close-knit club where everybody helps and supports everyone else without hesitation. (I have written in a previous blog about the time when a Chesterfield fan shared his taxi with my son and I, from High Wycombe station to Wycombe Wanderers football ground but refused to let me share the fare because I was “a fellow Spireite.”) Later, going back to the Hartlepool match, I counted 8 wheelchair Spireites who had made the long journey from the north midlands to the north east coast.

Football fandom is a constant balancing act between hope and despair. I am not talking about “pseudo fans” who pretend to support the most succesful teams in the land even though they have no genuine connection with them. I am referring to the fan who has a club in his/her blood. He/she is stuck with following that team, irrespective of its success or lack of success on the field of play. The explanation for my strange addiction is a simple geographical one. I was born just a few miles from the ground. My father, grandfather, brother, cousins and nearly all my school friends, supported Chesterfield FC. A few friends pretended to be Manchester United supporters and basked in vicarious glory every time United won something. I suspect that many of them would have switched to another more succesful team, if and when Man Utd stopped winning. However, my fellow Spireites and I, supporting our own local team, stayed loyal to the team through thick and thin. It is a stoical approach to football which is sadly in danger of dying out. Many football fans demand success and have less and less tolerance of failure. As soon as their team loses a few matches, there are screams for the manager to be sacked or the Chairman to resign. Patience, deferred gratification and loyalty are becoming an increasingly rare commodity. This is why I’m pleased to be supporting a small club that is often struggling. I am proud to be a life-long Chesterfield supporter and to suffer uncomplainingly from spireiteitus.

Chesterfield had some success about 4 or 5 years ago. They got promoted from Football League Division 2 ( which is actually the 4th tier of English football). They went up as Champions and had a rare moment of “glory”, being able to hold up the trophy in front of their cheering fans. They then went on to get into the playoffs to get into the Championship ( 2nd Division) from League 1 ( actually the 3rd division) . I hope this is not too confusing for you! But then the rot set in. We lost our manager, lured away to Portsmouth for more money. Many of our better players were sold. The next 3 managerial appointments were unsuccessful. In fact 2 of them were absolutely disastrous. Chesterfield were relegated down to Division 2 again ( ie Division 4) and then, horror of horrors, dropped straight out of the football league altogether. For the first time in nearly a century, Chesterfield FC, the 4th oldest league club in the country, became a non-league club. It was a humiliating moment for the Spireites. In fact it was difficult to believe and accept. There were lots of expressions of grief and anger. It was almost as if we were mourning a death. Was this the end of the world as we knew it? As expected this was a time of exaggerated emotions and over the top language. Hyperboles flew back and forth like confetti. Just before the disaster became a reality, anguished fans talked of being on the brink of “oblivion” or of teetering on the edge of “the abyss.” People were full of dread and foreboding.

Well, we fell into the abyss folks! Weeping and wailing, we tumbled into the bottomless pit. Except, we found it did have a bottom — it’s called the Vanarama National League. It’s the 5th tier of English football. It’s a funny feeling at first — supporting a non-League football team. It’s as if we are invisible. There is little or no mention of it in the press; little or no coverage of it on the television. It contains teams from places you’ve never heard of such as Ebbsfleet or Maidenhead, or teams you never usually associate with the working class game of football such as Harrogate. However it does contain some sleeping giants– teams that were once mainstays in the football league such as Leyton Orient and Hartlepool United, and, wait for it– Chesterfield. It exists in the shadows, out of the mainstream of British football and public consciousness. As I contemplated going to support the Spireites in this obscure league I had a sinking feeling. Would the football be really bad? Would the crowds be really small? Would the matches be devoid of  real atmosphere? Yet I knew, in order to remain a true Spireite, I had to overcome these misgivings, bite the bullet and descend into the abyss.

I was unable to attend the first few matches but followed the scores avidly on my smartphone. ( all the ups and downs of a live match while sitting on my own sofa pretending to be a normal person.) At last, towards the end of August came an opportunity to go to Chesterfield and watch my first ever non-league match. As it so happened, by a complete fluke of the fixture list, the Spireites were also playing in Hartlepool just 2 days later, as it was a Bank Holiday weekend. Hartlepool is quite close to where I live, only about 1.5 hours away instead of the usual 2 to 3 hour trek to Chesterfield. So it would be 2 descents into the pit in one eventful weekend. What was in store for me? Apart from enduring the mockery of my wife who hates football and who thought I had gone mad when I told her, it was to be two fascinating journeys into the unknown.

I love my football day trips to Chesterfield, even though they are quite long. I am going home to my roots and I am going to meet up with 4000 to 5000 fellow Spireites. I usually go by rail as I hate driving down the traffic clogged A1 and M1. I can curl up in my seat and read a book or the paper and let the train take the strain. Around me are: couples with their children, elderly people struggling with their luggage ( I always offer to help), young people staring at their smartphones, colourfully and smartly dressed hen parties or race goers.( we pass through York) and groups of young to middle-aged men talking endlessly about football as they too, are going to a match. I suspect that none of them will give more than a passing glance at the silver-haired “old” man reading his book. I would imagine that none of them in their wildest dreams, would think I was going on a descent into a sinister, dark abyss. I look forward to spotting a steam locomotive outside the National Railway Museum in York, to glancing at the medieval walls and minster of that same city and at the impressive minster church at Doncaster. I drink in the views of the city of Sheffield spreading up the Pennine hillsides.  I used to live there in the 1970s. Finally the striking Crooked Spire of Chesterfield’s St Mary’s Church slides into view. I leave the station, slipping past the statue of George Stephenson, the famous railway pioneer who spent his last days there and walk up into the familier town. After a nice lunch at the Stephenson Tea and  Coffee Rooms and a nostalgic wander round the cobbled, medieval style market square, I walk out to the ground, about a mile and a half outside the centre. I like to walk because it gets my step count up and makes me feel as if I am getting some exercise.

So what was non-league football like? Well, to tell the truth, it wasn’t much different from a match in Division 1 or 2. Maybe a thousand had been shaved off the home crowd since I last went to see them in April. But there was still a crowd of over 4600 which is pretty good for non-league. Barnet, our opponants even brought 140 valient souls who had made the journey up from north London to support their team against lowly Chesterfield. Just think — being Londoners, they could have chosen to follow Arsenal, Tottenham, Chelsea, West Ham, Crystal Palace or Fulham, all teams in the Premier League of English football. But Barnet is in their blood and they are sticking with their team, even in this humble, largely unacknowledged league. The match was hard fought and competitive. There were moments of skill mixed in with the mundane and the clumsy. There was lots of hoofing the ball upfield instead of passing through the opposition. But there were exciting dribbles, last minute tackles, great shots and dazzling saves. It was the usual emotional roller coaster ride. The crowd was passionate and vocal, even though this was not the World Cup final or the Champions League. There was camaraderie beween the fans too. Everyone stood up to give a minute’s applause for a young , 19 year old Barnet fan who had recently died on a bus taking him to a match. Although rivalries are keen, there seems to be a friendlier feel to this lowly league. Looking at the fans forum on the Internet, there is a certain sense of “we’re all in it together.” Of course there was the usual moaning and groaning at the ref and about the perceived bad fouls of the opposition. But that’s normal and indicates that life in the abyss doesn’t lack passion.

I think I’m going to enjoy my excursions into the Vanarama National League. The matches have most of the ingredients of the leagues above, except there is an incremental diminuation of skill. The only problem was that Chesterfield fell to an excellent Barnet  strike in the last minute. It was like a sudden punch in the stomach. We all trooped out of the ground disappointed and disconsolate. But the good thing about football is that there’s always the next match. Hope springs eternal. As you know, on this particular weekend, I actually went to the next match — at Hartlepool. It was another keenly fought encounter on the north east coast with seagulls swooping over the pitch during  play. I watched it in the home stand but I was quite safe. We exchanged friendly banter and wished each other well for the rest of the season. Poolies, as they call themselves, are just as passionate as the Spireites. On their shirts is printed “Never Say Die.” On the side of their main stand, large banners proclain: ” Born a Poolie. Live a Poolie. Die a Poolie!” They are suffering from a lifelong disease too. You could say they are :”poorlie”! They have had triumphs and disasters just like us, and again like us, they have sadly endured more of the latter in recent years. Like the Spireites, they could be described as inveterate masochists.

Well at Hartlepool, Chesterfield contrived to lose again. It was their fourth defeat in a row. After the joys of 3 straight wins at the start of the season, it looks like we are in for another period of suffering. My weekend was ultimately disappointing as far as the results were concerned. But it was rich in experiences and encounters. In fact I quite enjoyed my double descent into oblivion!


Mersey Memories.

31 Jul

The River Mersey — one of Britain’s most famous waterways. It’s so big that it’s had a county named after it — Merseyside( though I’m sure most Liverpudlians still consider themselves as Lancastrians.) It’s so big, that when I first saw it as a kid, I thought its grey, choppy waves were the sea. I grew up in the land-locked county of Derbyshire so I didn’t get to see the real sea very often. It was on the Mersey that I first sailed on a large boat. In fact I travelled on the ferry ‘cross the Mersey, between Liverpool and Birkenhead, many times before Gerry Marsdon and his Pacemakers immortalised it in their hit song of 1964/65. From the mid-50’s to the late 60’s our family travelled on it every year. To me, when I was a small child, the ferry seemed like an enormous ship, whereas when I see photos of it now, I realize that it was just a glorified tug boat. In fact, in the 1960s, there were 3 ferries, sharing the task of carrying people across the wide river estaury. They were called : Mountwood, Woodchurch and Overchurch.

So why did this north midlands family visit Merseyside every year? Well, it all began in the early 1950s when I fell into a boating lake in Colwyn Bay. ( North Wales.) It’s my earliest memory. I think I was about 3 at the time. I had struck up a friendship with

another toddler, a little girl called Margaret. ( my first girlfriend?) We ran excitedly round the rim of the lake, sailing our toy yachts, until suddenly, I slipped and fell in. I still remember being under the water. It’s my earliest memory. Then I saw the blurred, reflected figure of my dad reaching towards me to drag me out. Out I came, shocked, shivering and sopping wet. It was then that my mum uttered the immortal words: ” Oh look, he’s still got his cap on!” She didn’t seem to appreciate that her son had nearly drowned! Well, the incident brought the two families together, as Margaret’s mum had run to the rescue as well. Actually, I think we were already a bit friendly because we were lodging at the same guest house. From then on, Margaret’s parents became my unofficial aunt and uncle. I always referred to them as Auntie Joyce and Uncle Bill. They lived in Wallasey, near Birkenhead, across the river from Liverpool. From that time on, we visited them every year. They sometimes came to see us but Uncle Bill was in a wheel chair, so it was much easier for us to do the travelling, especially as my dad worked on the railways and we could go on 5 free journeys a year. Neither family owned a car, something that was consodered a real luxury for most families in the 1950s.

The annual trip to Merseyside was one of the highlights of the year. We were lucky enough to have a seaside holiday as well but the trip to Liverpool was something different. Instead of sitting in deck-chairs, walking along piers or making sand castles, my sister and I now got a glimpse of a big city ( in fact 2 cities if you count Manchester on the way there), saw huge, glittering shops, ate at a restaurant and went on the aforementioned big boat. It was all very exciting and very different from our everyday life in the relatively small Derbyshire town of Chesterfield. Normally we never ate out as we couldn’t afford to. Eating out was for richer folk I thought. But as soon as we arrived at Liverpool Lime Street station we were whisked up to the top floor of Lewis’s, next door, and had a sit down meal served by uniformed waitresses. OK, it was only a department store cafe and we only had fish and chips, but to me at the time, it seemed very  grand. Even today I remember the waitresses’ frilly white pinafores and the bread that accompanied our meal being cut into neat, dainty triangles. To me, it seemed as if we were being dead “posh.”

Next came the walk through the big, busy city and then the queue to get on the ferry to cross the water. I remember crowds of people and being crammed on to the upper deck as the Liverpool shoreline gradually receded and  Birkenhead slowly came into sharper focus. This was pre- Beatles and pre-Gerry and the Pacemakers, so we had no pop music to accompany us across the water as happens on today’s tourist version of the Mersey ferry. It was a regular, run of the mill commuter service. I may be suffering from false memory syndrone but I seem to recall that we had to pay upon disembarking, an unusual arrangement, which meant queues again. Still it was all very thrilling and different for me at the time.

Even before the big city and the ferry, we had the excitement of the rail journey between Chesterfield and Liverpool. We caught 3 trains all pulled by steam locomotives, changing at Sheffield and Manchester. There were none of the “boring” diesel or electric units in the north in those days. It was the last great hurrah of the age of steam. Being an engine driver’s son, I was a keen trainspotter and here was a chance to spot all sorts of locomotives that I wouldn’t normally see back home. The last leg from Manchester to Liverpool was pulled by a tank engine and we were in carriages that had no corriders and no toilets. I remember my dad once having to hang my little sister out of the window because she was desperate for a wee ( when the train had stopped of course.)

The Liverpool trip got even more exciting as the 60s progressed. By now, I was a teenager and was getting heavily into pop music. In 1963 The Beatles suddenly exploded on to the scene, instantly dating the old rockers, crooners and trad jazz bands that had been dominating the charts. The Beatles of course hailed from Liverpool and all of a sudden it became the trendiest city in the country. Other Mersey groups and artists quickly followed in the Beatles’ powerful wake. Gerry and the Pacemakers had number 1 hits with their first 3 singles. Other hit- making Liverpool groups swiftly followed — Billy K Kramer and the Dakotas, the Big 3, The Swinging Blue Jeans, The Fourmost, The Searchers — just to name a few. The music press dubbed it : “The Mersey Beat.” It seemed that any half decent artist from Merseyside could jump on the bandwagon and enjoy national success. And I’ve not forgotten Cilla Black of course. Liverpool’s Cavern Club became one of the hottest music venues in the country. The Fab Four had played there regularly upon their return from Hamburg. This is where they had honed and polished their act before they got a recording contract and hit the big time.

As a moody adolescent, I might have been expected to be reluctant to get dragged along on a family visit with my  “old-fashioned”parents yet again, but once The Beatles and co had taken off, I didn’t need any persuading to go at all. I was going to the centre of the action. Liverpool was “where it’s at” as they used to say in the 60s. I had  teenage American penfriends in Cleveland and Pittsburgh whose letters were dominated by endless questions about John, Paul, George and Ringo.  Who was my favourite? When was their next record going to be released? Were they going to come to the States?I was their passport to the very heart of the pop music scene. Just for the record, my favourite “mop top” was George Harrison, closely followed by John Lennon. I remember one visit when I was about 15. It coincided with the release date of The Beatles’ latest single: ” Can’t Buy Me Love.” It went straight to Number 1 as so many fans had pre-ordered it. Margaret, now a 15 year old Beatles fan, had pre-ordered it too and she proudly played it to me on the afternoon of its first day of release. It was a genuine thrill. If I had not gone to Liverpool that day I would have had to wait several weeks to save up my pocket money to buy it for myself.( which I eventually did.)

It was no fluke that The Beatles and their contemparies hailed from a major port city such as Liverpool. Soul, Blues and R and B records arrived from America on the trans-Atlantic ships. Much of the Beatles’ early repertoire consisted of covers of American records they had acquired and which were not commonly available in the shops. I can just imagine Lennon, Harrison or McCartney carrying home their vinyl copies of “Twist and Shout” by the Isley Brothers or “Please Mr Postman” by The Marvalettes, as if they were precious trophies. Their city was more multi-cultural than many others, more open to new ideas and thus was a “melting-pot” of musical styles.

In it’s days as one of the great ports of the British Empire, many people passed through Liverpool on their way to the New Worlds of North America, Australia and New Zealand. Between 1830 and 1930 as many as 9 million people emigrated from here. So it was a city of farewells, tears and hopes. Unfortunately, Liverpool was also a major port for the notorious slave trade until slavery was finally banned in the British Empire in the 1830s. In past visits I have visited moving and absorbing exhibitions about emigration and slavery at Liverpool’s excellent and free Maritime Museum on the refurbished Albert Dock.  The museum also has very good archives for private research. I remember the hairs standing up on the back of my neck while researching with my then girlfriend, the drowning of her father in the South China  Seas while working as a ship’s engineer on a White Star Lines ship in the 1950’s. We found the actual record of the voyage and a list of the ship’s crew. D’s father’s name was there, alongside the chilling words: ” Lost at sea.” He had sadly died while trying to rescue a colleague who had fallen overboard off the west coast of Malaysia.

I’ve recently been back to Liverpool to visit some exhibitions. It’s become an important cultural centre with its galleries, theatres and museums, including a major outreach of the Tate. I’ve visited the city regularly over the years. To me, there always seems to be a bit of a buzz about the place. There is invariably a great atmosphere. Most people are friendly, approachable and humourous. It’s days as a great port are over and much of its traditional industries have died out. I’m sure there is still quite a bit of unemployment and poverty there. But there is  a great spirit to the place. It took on the right wing Thatcher government in the 1980s, electing a radical left wing council which virtually declared Merseyide as an independent Socialist Republic. It inevitably lost the fight against the all powerful government but even Mrs Thatcher recognised  Liverpool’s plight and gave it the sop of hosting one of Britain’s first “Garden Festivals” and sending, her minister, Michael Heseltine to Merseyside on a charm offensive. Maybe, even the ruthless “Iron Lady” formed a grudging admiration for the cheerful stoicism and fighting spirit of the Liverpudlians. Who knows?

Say “Liverpool” to people in a word association exercise, and by far the most common responses will be “The Beatles” and football. Both still draw in the crowds today. The city has 2 premier League football clubs — Everton and Liverpool FC– the blues and the reds. Both command a huge fan base and generate great passion and loyalty. This applies not just in Liverpool itself but across the nation and even throughout the world. As Liverpool FC has enjoyed the most success over the years it has attracted the largest number of fans. Many people in Africa, Asia and North America, walk around, proudly wearing the red shirt of Liverpool. Probably only Manchester United, Real Madrid and Barcelona rival them for world wide popularity. People are attracted to success so that they can extract a vicarious pleasure from it.  Liverpool FC has won the top English League, the FA Cup and even the European Cup ( Champions League) on numerous occasions. Back in the 60’s I adopted Liverpool as my second team. Chesterfield FC, my home town club were ( and always will be) my first love but they have perenially been stuck in the lower leagues of English football.  Peer pressure demanded that I support a top club. As most of my mates were pretending to be Manchester United fans even though they had nothing to do with Manchester, I decided to be different and eventually went for Liverpool, even though at the time of my choice they were actually in Division 2 ( now called the Championship.) With my backing they soon got promoted and quickly became one of the top teams in the country, and deadly rivals of Man Utd. I was impressed with Liverpool’s then manager, Bill Shankly and their energetic, attacking style of play. This penchant for Liverpool continued even when I went to college in Manchester, when I could easily have gone to see Best, Charlton and Law or the then stars of Manchester City. I only went to Anfield, the home of Liverpool FC ,once however.  It wasn’t an entirely comfortable experience. It was a top of the table clash against United and I travelled on the train from Manchester with my “Red Devils” supporting mates. We ended up in a pub before the match ( I was about 17 or 18 at the time). We were having a quiet drink, looking forward to the action, when the place was suddenly invaded by Liverpool fans. Ironically, considering I had travelled all that way to support his team, I got spat upon by a Liverpool fan and called “United scum!” The match itself was a tense 0-0 draw but I had to stay very quiet all the way through it because I was stuck in the middle of the away end, and had to endure relentless verbal abuse from the “Kop” opposite us.

I went to Merseyside recently to once again enjoy the culture, the architecture and above all the atmosphere. There are 2 impressive Cathedrals, Anglican and Roman Catholic, on opposite ends of the appropriately named “Hope Street”. Beautiful Georgian buildings grace the hillside above the centre. Three magnificant buildings, the “Three Graces” adorn the river front. They are the Port of Liverpool building, the Cunard Building and the Liver Building, topped by the famous mythical birds. Thanks to these, the Liverpool riverside had been appointed a World Heritage Site by the UN. Unfortunately recent adjacent , unattractive tower blocks have started to put this status at risk.

Tourism plays an increasingly important role in the city’s economy. The Beatles and the football have become the biggest draws. There are Beatles statues on the waterfront, Beatles taxi tours, Beatles open- top bus tours , a recreated Cavern club ( the original one was demolished) and a Beatles Experience museum. I think it’s over the top but plenty of tourists lap it all up. Yet, even I succumbed to the excellent ” John Lennon and Yoko Ono — Double Fantasy” exhibition at the Museum of Liverpool.  It was an absorbing 2 hour journey back into my youth, and was quite emotional at times. I never saw The Beatles live, unfortunately. The chance never came up. My wife Chris, saw them but didn’t hear a thing because of the constant screaming. The nearest I got to the “Mersey Sound”  was the Merseybeats, who were a support act to Traffic at a Chesterfield concert in 1966. However, I was a regular visiter to the city  when it was the “Mecca” of the pop music world. For a host of different reasons, I have been going back ever since. And it’s all thanks to a boating lake accident in a North Wales seaside resort.

World Cup Fever.

22 Jul

I’m feeling a lot better now. Only a week ago I was still feeling the after-effects of a mid-summer fever that had contagiously spread throughout the nation. People in its grip could talk about little else. Their normal, everyday lives were obliterated. You see, as well as the country experiencing it’s longest drought and heat-wave in years, it was also the football World Cup finals in Russia and England had unexpectantly advanced to the semi-finals. This was their best result since the distant 1990, the year of Lineker’s goals, Gazza’s tears and Bobby Robson’s  dignified leadership.

Getting to the semis again was a dizzying achievement for a national football team which has perennially underachieved and disappointed at the finals of big tournemants. Only 2 years ago England had been bewitched and bemused by mighty Iceland at the European Nations Cup! At the end of that match our highly paid team of Premier League stars, didn’t know whether they were coming or going. For a country that had given the game  to the world and whose top League is supposed to be the richest and most exciting on the planet, it was a huge humiliation to lose to tiny Iceland. Yet another manager (the very decent Roy Hodgeson) was forced to fall on his sword. This year, for the Russian adventure, the English team was led by the relatively untried Gareth Southgate. He had been a stolid central defender for his country, and had been a moderately successful manager of Middlesbrough in the middle reaches of the Premier League. The hopes of the country were resting on the shoulders of a manager untried at senior international level and with only moderate achievements at club level. The omens were not good, but England sailed through their group and qualified for the finals in Russia. Even so, hopes were not high.  Our hapless teams had regularly stumbled at the highest level and our present team was young, relatively inexperienced at international level and lacked any proven, “world-class” players. Thus the expectations of the English nation were low. We had been too often let down. Of course, most Scots, Welsh and Northern Irish fans, whose teams had failed to qualify, looked forward to seeing the English lose and get humiliated, yet again.

It was therefore a pleasant surprise when the England team won their first 2 matches, albeit against fairly humble opposition ( Tunisia and Panama), scored a few goals and then actually won a previously dreaded penalty shootout in the last 16 match against the cynical, “pantomine villains” of Columbia. This was a great achievement and a big relief for Southgate who had famously missed a penalty in a shoot-out defeat 20 or so years earlier. Luckily, the reigning World Champions, Germany had been knocked out, victims of their own arrogance ( in the words of their manager), so we now faced Sweden in the quarter finals. Sweden was another country with a much smaller population than England. One of their best players, Larrson had just been released by Hull City, recently relegated to the second tier of English football. Thus England entered the game with confidence and won comfortably, although our goalie, Pickford had to make 2 or 3 brillient saves to keep the Swedes at bay. England won 2-0 and progressed to the dizzying heights of the World Cup semi- finals, where we would meet Croatia who had just knocked out the hosts. Croatia has a population of only 4 million whereas  the English part of the United Kingdom probably has about 40 to 50 million people. So it was another catch-weight contest.  The country was confident if not over-confident. As my mechanic said, when I took the car in for an oil change, “we should easily get past the Croats.”

By now, Word Cup fever had really taken hold of much of the country, whipped- up by the press, TV and social media. People were driving around with little , fluttering red and white flags of St George stuck to their cars. Large versions of the same English flag were hung from bedroom windows on housing estates up and down the country or flew on garden flag-poles. At times I was reminded of driving through the Unionist areas of Northern Ireland earlier in the year. Pubs were full to bursting with beer drinking fans who could not afford the long trip to Russia. Big screens were erected in town and city squares for wildly patriotic supporters to enjoy the England team’s march into the last 4. Cliches and hyperbole were now common place. My Facebook page was daily dominated by patriotic boasting and over- the- top predictions. Apparently, we were going to make history and football was “coming home”, a reference to our invention of  the world’s most popular game. A pop song by the Lightning Seeds — “Three Lions — Football’s Coming Home”, shot to the top of the charts. It seemed to be on everyone’s lips. ( It had originally been composed in 1996, when England had hosted the European Championships — so football was really coming home then.) The whole country seemed to have been taken over by World Cup mania. After the bitter divisions caused by the controversial Brexit vote ( Leavers and Remainers at each other’s throats), it seemed that the UK was now coming together( except for Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland that is!)

I felt excited but slightly uncomfortable at the same time. I am a football fan and wanted England to win. But I have always been wary of overt, exaggerated patriotism. Simple patriotism ( support for one’s country) can easily spill over into bellicose chauvinism and arrogance. It can quickly change from “our country is great” into “our country is better than others” or “other countries are rubbish.) Flag waving and patriotic songs have also been closely connected with wars in the past. I am particularly sensitive about this sort of thing at the moment because it seems to me that the vote  for the UK to leave the European Union had a lot to do with dislike and/or distrust of foreigners. The same red and white flag of St George has been adopted by parties on the far right of British politics who are openly anti-foreigner, anti-muslem and racist.  The irony is that Saint George was an Italian knight and the red cross on the white background was originally commandeered from the Italian city of Genoa. So the origins of our patron saint and national flag are not English. Come to think of it, the lions on the English team’s shirts are animal from Africa. On top of this, all the English tub- thumping and flag- waving is not good for the unity of the United Kingdom which only just survived a Scottish independence vote a few years ago. Hence, for a variety of reasons I approached the semi-final against Croatia with very mixed feelings.

I watched it of course. I had witnessed, via the TV, every important England World Cup match since 1966. I had seen our famous victory over West Germany at Wembley in a crowded French cafe in Biarritz. I was on my very first trip abroad with my school. To my bemusement, all the French people in the cafe were rooting for Germany. Weren’t the French our allies and the Germans the common enemy in the Second World War?  Anyway I saw Geoff Hurst’s hat-trick and Bobby Moore holding the Jules Rimet trophy aloft. Were the team of 2018 going to unbelievably repeat that famous feat? The country held its collectice breath. The media was at fever pitch and in full hyperbole mode.

But, of course it wasn’t to be. English World Cup fever, 2018 style came to a shuddering halt as the second Croatian goal arrived in the first part of extra time. The English team finally looked exhausted and beaten. Optimism rapidly drained away as if from a punctured balloon. England made a valiant attempt at a comeback in the second half of extra time after their final pep talk from the dignified Southgate. However they were now down to 10 men due to injuries and they were up against a World Class Croatian midfield marshalled by Luka Modric (of Real Madrid), which had taken a firm stranglehold over the match. Our brave team were defeated and were reduced to exhaustion and tears. Many fans in Russia and back home also succumbed to despair and tears. They had perhaps believed all the hype and were now crest- fallen.

I was disappointed and felt sorry for the team and the manager that had represented England so skilfully. Like many others, I was actually proud of them. However, being a football realist, I knew that little Croatia had a sprinkling of world class players and could easily match us in spirit, organisation, energy and determination. Being such a young country, born out of the late 1990’s break up of Yugoslavia, they too were extremely patriotic. Apparently, the Croatian team was motivated by the over-the-top boasting and dismissal of their chances in the British tabloid press. Croatia had been grossly under-estimated. Chris and I had had a lovely holiday in Croatia just a few weeks before, so as well as being disappointed for us, I could also be pleased for them. I never had more than a slight dose of the fever anyway. I was still able to do normal things and retain a sense of perspective. I was helped in this by Chris, my wife, who hates all sport, especially football. She refused to watch a ball being kicked. So I recovered from the defeat quite quickly and the fever of overt patriotism subsided throughout the country.

I watched the final where the Croatians dominated possession but lost 2-4 to the French with a bit of help from the referee. ( He awarded a highly debatable free kick and an equally dubious penalty to France.) So football isn’t coming home after all. It’s gone to France, our near neighbour, who we will be soon saying au revoir to. Life has gone back to more or less normal now that the World Cup has ended and the mid-summer “madness” has subsided. Feeling a lot better, we can now concentrate on the tennis, the cricket, the athletics and the golf, not to mention the fantastic Tour de France. Even for sports fans, there is potentially a lot of life beyond football. The only unfinished business to look forward to is Gareth Southgate’s knighthood, even though he didn’t quite equal the great Alf Ramsey!

Masochistic Away Day.

23 Feb

It was another insane idea. I think I must be going a bit dopey in my old age. The choice was as follows: have a relaxing day at home or undergo 8 hours of train travel and hanging around draughty stations to almost inevitably experience disappointment. I chose the latter of course. I would travel from deepest Cleveland on the north east coast, to the far north west of England to support my team, a team that was next to bottom of the whole football league and had just lost 4 matches in a row. Many people would regard this as mad but I went because it was an adventure and I wanted to show support and loyalty to the team. I think support in times of adversity is real support. If you’ve read my previous blog you might understand this a bit.

I love travel as much as I love sport. Every journey is potentially an exciting adventure. In this case I was travelling to Carlisle but I was also journeying into the unknown. What would happen on the way? Would all my connections work out? What would I find when I got there? This is what happened.

It was an early start. The alarm clock rudely interrupted my sleep at 6-45am. This was like being back at work, a feeling I have largely forgotten since I retired. By 7.55 I was at Saltburn station, joining a small band of sleepy commuters going to work in the shops of Redcar and Middlesbrough. I huddled into my seat as our little, old diesel -railcar ground its way over the points, heading slowly west. I live at the end of a long branchline, and the first stage of any rail journey usually involves painstakingly trundling our way to the main line at Darlington, about 28 miles away. I settled into my book, hoping the miles would disappear more quickly that way. On this journey though, I didn’t have to go all the way to Darlington. I was routed via Hartlepool and Sunderland so had to change at Middlesbrough, and then have a slow but scenic train journey up the Durham coast. The changeover was only 10 minutes and soon I was on my way again. In 1 hour 20 minutes I would be meeting my fellow football masochist, Ian, at Newcastle Central station. Together we would catch the Carlisle connection.

However, you know what they say about the best laid plans. My second train went only one stop to Thornaby ( south Stockton) and then just stood in the platform. I found myself getting restless and started to wriggle around in my seat.After this had been going on for 10 minutes, the guard told us there had been a power failure in the main signal box and until it was fixed, no trains in the area were allowed to move. An electrician had been sent for ( there were none on site) and he had got stuck in traffic. I could see my Carlisle connection going up the swanee and even the one after that. Maybe I would miss the match altogether? Then, an idea started to form in my head. Out of the window I had noticed a regular stream of taxis coming down a drive into the station and dropping passengers off. As worry and frustration bubbled up inside me, I hit upon an escape plan. Seeing another taxi arrive, I leapt off the train, ran across the platform and knocked on the taxi man’s window as he was checking his money. The worst case scenario was that he wouldn’t accept me as a customer because I hadn’t made a proper booking, and then the train would suddenly depart with me stranded on the platform!  That really would have been “sod’s law!”As he wound down the window I asked the driver if he could take me to Darlington station and, thank God, he said “yes.” So in a few seconds, I was on my again, weaving through the rainy, grey streets of Thornaby, heading for Darlington and the main- line.

It was one of those chance encounters one sometimes experiences on journeys. I told the taxi driver where I was going and why, and he replied with stories of the travails of Darlington football club which had gone bust and dropped out of the league. His son had had trials there as a teenager and also at Hartlepool United, another struggling north- east football club. He hadn’t been accepted. The taxi man concluded cynically that success in football is about who you know not about what you can do. He said the whole system is corrupt and very harsh. I think I agree with him.

Within 20 minutes we were at Darlington station on the East Coast mainline. With a bit of luck, I would soon catch a fast train north to Newcastle. As I was paying the fare and saying my goodbye, another taxi man ran up and told my driver that he had a near flat tyre at the back. We looked and the rear passenger- side tyre was doing a good imitation of a pancake! It was only luck that had prevented us from having the flat on the A66 dual- carriageway a few minutes earlier and having to stop to change the wheel in the pouring rain! I caught an Edinburgh express within 10 minutes and as it glided out of the station I saw my taxi man still struggling with his jack and his wrench. I hope he got it sorted alright.

The express sped smoothly northwards only affording a brief glimpse of Durham’s magnificent cathedral and castle as we raced by. Soon we were crossing the Tyne on one of the 6 famous bridges. We swept round a corner and came to a smooth halt in Newcastle Central station. Ian was waiting for me with a welcome cup of coffee. ( I had texted him of my progress.) Meanwhile ( I heard later) my original train was still stuck at Thornaby. It was delayed for at least an hour. I would have been going spare by then!

The next stage of the journey took us along the beautiful Tyne valley and into Hadrian’s Wall country. A long gentle escarpment led up to the remains of the Roman wall and then dropped steeply away. It’s lovely empty countryside. Northumberland merged into Cumbria as we headed forever westwards. We caught glimpses of hill farms surrounded by grazing sheep. As we neared our destination we passed the shell of an old castle. Quite suddenly, the scenary switched from rural to urban as we were sucked into the suburbs of the City of Carlisle.

Carlisle is a border city. Scotland is not very far away. It has seen much conflict over the centuries. Coming out of the Citadel Station we immediately saw the 16th century round, stone towers ordered by Henry VIII to strengthen the city’s defences. Further in we came across the sturdy, red stoned castle that has witnessed much bloody conflict. Edward 1st had stayed there before going on to “Hammer the Scots.” In an earlier age Carlisle had actually been part of Scotland. It’s the only large English town not to have been recorded in the Domesday Book, ordered by William the Conqueror in the 1080s. It was left to his son, William Rufus to reconquer Carlisle for the English. One might expect that, given this troubled and violent history, its citizens would be tough, hard-bitten and wary of strangers. Of course, we found them to be just the opposite as the border battles and struggles  have now faded into the mists of time. Ian and I entered a nice little cafe near the station to have lunch. No staff were available to greet us but several customers encouraged us to sit down and told us the routine. When I thanked them, a lady commented :” No problem, we’re friendly in Carlisle.”

After our teas and toasties we had a bit of time to explore. Beyond the chain stores and coffees shops there was a very atmospheric and interesting historical quarter. Some streets were cobbled and we passed many old Georgian and early Victorian buildings in striking red sandstone. We strolled along narrow lanes and along a section of old town walls. The medieval cathedral and its close are magnificent. One feature is a spectacular barrel shaped ceiling painted in sky blue with golden stars. We made a note to return for a longer visit when football was not dominating the agenda.

After more helpful directions, we started to walk towards Brunton Park, Carlisle United’s football stadium. This took us up the busy Warwick Road and the leafy avenues that run off it. This is quite unusual as many of the original football grounds are found in more run down areas surrounded by humble terraces. One of the graceful Georgian town houses we passed had a blue plaque. It turned out it was the former home of the mother and grandfather of the American President Woodrow Wilson. He was one of the main architects of the Treaty of Versailles at the end of the First World War. His mother, Jessie Janet Woodrow Wilson had been born in Carlisle and her father, the Reverend Doctor Thomas Woodrow, originally from Paisley in Scotland, used to preach in a nearby church. Carlisle was only a temporary staging post however, as the family subsequently emigrated to the United States where the future president was born.

Arriving at the football ground we looked at the fields and streets that had been severely flooded by Storm Desmond in December 2015 and January 2016. The nearby river had burst its banks. The pitch went underwater too and for a while, Carlisle Untied had to play their “home” matches in Preston, Blackburn or Blackpool. When the water eventually receded, all the community turned out to clear up the muddy mess in the ground. Even the players mucked in to help. The disaster had brought the team and the fans together in a united effort.

There now ensued a tense 20 minutes or so while we waited for Lesley. I had met Lesley at the Chesterfield box office a fortnight before when I was there for a home match. To my frustration she told me that the tickets for the match at Carlisle had not arrived yet, so could I pop in the following week? Not living in Chesterfield anymore, I said I couldn’t. So Lesley said she would bring my tickets on the team coach on the day and give them to me outside the ground before kick off. This seemed a neat arrangement but inevitably, when we arrived at the away supporters end of Brunton Park, Lesley was nowhere to be seen. We weren’t the only ones waiting and worrying. A small group of Chesterfield supporters who did not actually live in Chesterfield now gathered together. I met one guy who had travelled down from Glasgow. This was the closest he got to a “home” match. Thankfully Lesley at last appeared and we collected our tickets and entered the stadium.

Being in Brunton Park was like going back in time. We showed our tickets to a real person instead of introducing a bar code to a scanner. Inside I was surprised to see that both ends behind the goals didn’t have seating. People stood behind crash barriers just like in the old days. The opposite stand to us only had seats in the top half and the rest was for standing. I thought that since the Hillsborough disaster, all grounds had to be all seaters, but apparently, this rule only applies to clubs in the top two divisions.

Before the match, as we watched the players going through their warm-up routines, a strange thing happened. The Carlisle mascot came out sporting a fox’s head. Now I had always thought that it was Leicester City who were nicknamed “The Foxes”. But now it seems that Carlisle claim that name too. They used to feature a fox on their logo because of the local connection with the legendary huntsman John Peel. In 1976 for instance, the club badge featured a golden fox jumpimg over the abbrieviation CUFC. Later, a fox was shown jumping through a ring of stars. Not any longer is a fox featured though. Now the club badge shows the castle, a shield with the cross of St George and 2 red dragons. Maybe Leicester had threatened to sue them!

I was just digesting all this when the foxy mascot brought out a real stuffed fox mounted on a base and placed it in the centre circle. It stayed there until just before kick off, presumably to bring the team good luck. Football is full of these peculiar traditions and superstitions. I later found that the stuffed fox is called OLGA, which is an anagram of GOAL.

Finally at 3pm, the match kicked off. Chesterfield put in a miserable performance and were lucky only to lose 2-0, although we were very unlucky to have what looked like a good goal, ruled out for a marginal offside. Because this was real life and not on a telly screen, we were unable to watch slow-motion replays to check if the referee’s controversial decision was correct. For a moment we had all gone berserk, in a sudden surge of emotion, but now we returned to stoical acceptance of the inevitable. There was little atmosphere in the rest of the ground. Half of the Carlisle supporters seemed to be asleep. They only woke up when they scored or when there was a disputed throw-in near where they were sitting. There were just under 4000 of them and we numbered 248. We call ourselves the “Spireites” after Chesterfield’s famous and bizarre crooked spire. Even though we lost, I was pleased to be there, enjoying a couple of noisy, raucous hours amongst the Spireite faithful. The away fans nearly always make more noise than the home fans even though heavily outnumbered. Rather than acting like separate individuals they close ranks, feel the warmth of camaraderie and lose many of their inhibitions. A funny moment came when a Carlisle player finally got back on his feet after laying on the turf injured. Some of our number thought he was feigning the injury to waste time and break up the play. One Spireite fan lept up and sarcastically bellowed ” Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! He is healed!” So we lost and we trudged despondently out of the ground and into the darkened streets. I was disappointed with the result but had half expected it. I was still glad that I had made the effort to be one of the valient 248!

Ian and I walked back into the city centre and ate a tasty happy-hour pasta at a jolly Italian ristorante. Then we were back at the station ready for the long journey home. This time we were joined by gangs of Saturday night revellers — young people on their way for a night out in Newcastle. It was noisy but good humoured. At Newcastle, Ian and I parted company and I went on to catch 2 more trains, travelling south and then east. Some young lads I talked to had been drinking in Newcastle and then in Durham city. They were now on their way to Darlington for yet more drinking before getting taxis home to Bishop Auckland. They couldn’t believe it when I told them I had gone all the way from Saltburn to Carlisle and back to see a football match and had  not touched a drop of drink! I think they thought I was mad. It was the last interesting encounter on my long away day. Some may think of it as masochistic, others may think I was insane. Maybe they have a point, but there’s no getting away from the fact that I really enjoyed  it! It would have been even better if the Spireites had won but one cannot have everything!



It’s Only a Game — Or Is It?

15 Feb

I’ve been feeling slightly sick inside for a couple of days now. No-one close to me has died. The house has not collapsed. I have not had my income cut-off. I am not really ill with a sickness bug.( I had that over Christmas)  So what is the problem? I know you will laugh when I tell you. You will probably advise me to “get a grip” and “grow up.” The cause of my malaise is a football match played about 130 miles away from my home, in the lowest tier of the English professional leagues. I wasn’t even at the match. Yet when I saw the result flash up on the screen, it hit me like a punch in the stomach! Even 2 days later, now that I have had time to pull myself together, I am still wandering around in a semi-daze.


You see, I am not ill in the conventional sense, but I do suffer from a terrible, life-long debilitating disease. I am Stuart Bates and I am a Chesterfield FC supporter! It’s an affliction which I know I will never get rid of. It all started when I was born. Yes, you’ve guessed it — I was born in Chesterfield. It’s a little known Derbyshire industrial town in the East Midlands. It has seen better days and it’s traditional industries such as coal mining, engineering and steel making, have all declined. It now lives in constant fear of being swallowed up by its giant neighbour to the north, the city of Sheffield. Chesterfield’s most famous claim to fame is that it’s parish church has an alarmingly crooked and twisted spire. Unseasoned timbers caused the spire to warp and twist back in the 13th century. Ironically, that big mistake by those medieval builders has given an other-wise non-descript town, a unique and special identity. It is the Pisa of north-east Derbyshire, although lacking the Tuscan sunshine, it doesn’t attract quite so many tourists.

So I was born in Chesterfield, spent my childhood there and as I became a teenager, I started to support the town’s  football team. Chesterfield FC are the 4th oldest club in the whole English football league. They have never risen out of the lower divisions. I think they nearly got promoted to the old Division 1 sometime in the 1930’s, but lost out on goal difference. So near, yet so far! They have never reached those dizzying heights since. Commemorating the town’s most famous landmark, the team is nicknamed “The Spireites.”

Supporting the Spireites has always given me a sense of belonging. I left the town of the crooked spire to go to college in Manchester when I was nearly 19, and have lived in various different towns and cities since. But I have always had that strong feeling that my roots are in Chesterfield. When I visit the town I always feel that I have come home. The feeling begins as soon as I spy the crooked spire on the horizon or as soon as a bus driver or shop assistant calls me “duck”, the local Derbyshire term of endearment. I have lived much of my adult life in the land of “Bonnie Lad” and “Pet” but, silly as this sounds, I always experience a strong surge of pleasure when I hear the word “Duck.” The Derbyshire/ Nottinghamshire/ South Yorkshire accent is not the most beautiful in the land, but because I was immersed in it as a child, it is music to my ears.

Just as I identify with the town, I identify, but in a more concentrated and powerful form, with its football team. In the ground on a Saturday afternoon, anything from 4000 to 8000 Spireites are gathered together, united by a common love and a common cause. The numbers are no- where near those who go to watch the top Premier Division teams, but it is still a potent feeling to be amongst so many like- minded people. Spireites come in all ages from young children to so called senior citizens. They include men and women, though the former still predominate. At matches I have seen babes in arms, parents and children, young, raucous men, people in wheel chairs, blind and partially sighted, genteel couples and moaning old “codgers” giving the linesman some stick. In other words one can see a large cross section of the humanity at a Chesterfield match. I have encountered Spireites from Belgium, Spain and even Japan as well as from all over UK. I even met one at British passport control in Calais, who when he had studied my documents, exclaimed “Up the Spireites!” What unites us all is support for the team and identification with the town in some shape or form. I described it as an illness above, but a more accurate word is “addiction.”

“Addiction” sounds quite alarming, as it can be of course. I have already admitted that it has made me feel a bit ill. But don’t worry, I have it under control. ( I think!) For me, being a footballer supporter is like having an alternative, vicarious life. This is particularly so when one identifies strongly with one particular team. The situation will only get serious, in my opinion, if this alternative existance starts spilling over and swamping real life. The bad result last Tuesday made me ill- at- ease and out of sorts. I had to deal with disappointment, shock, and anxiety. Chesterfield are having a terrible season and are in grave danger of being relegated out of the football league altogether. Some of my fellow Spireites use exaggerated language such as : “disastrous”, “gut-wrenching”, and feeling “gutted.” I have said such things too, while in the grip of strong, negative emotions. One of my friends described the threat of relegation as staring into “the abyss.” That’s how many people would view death — the end of existance. Even for a big football fan like myself and ardent Spireite, I admit that that is a bit over the top. The despair of a defeat or the elation of victory are the causes of such colourful language. But, hopefully, these heightened emotions are only temporary and after a calming down period, lives, even Spireite lives, inevitably return to normal.

Being part of something is a powerful feeling. It’s great not to feel alone. I remember feeling wonderful when I marched in a massive torchlight procession for CND in the 1980’s. We were all united in our wish for World peace and for the banning of weapons of mass destruction. That same feeling of togetherness is evoked by headteachers when they tell pupils to be proud of their uniforms and of their role as representatives of the school. Belonging to a team, an institution, a movement or a political party can stir up great pride and satisfaction. It’s just the same with football. I’m not talking about the fake “glory hunters” who pretend to support whichever team is top of the league. Look how many Leicester City “supporters” suddenly and miraculously emerged a couple of years go when the Foxes were Premier League champions. Where are they all now? I’m talking about a deep-rooted and long-lasting support of a club and team. My support for Chesterfield was somehow born inside me. My dad passed it on to me and he got it from my granddad. I have been to many matches with my cousin  and my uncle.( sadly now passed away.) It’s both a joy and an affliction. It’s part of our lives.

Life itself is all about ups and downs. For every high there seems to be a low. Sport, including football, copies life. At the moment I am worried and depressed because my team is not doing very well. Two weeks ago I was worried and depressed because we had a burst pipe under the kitchen floor. Both situations made me feel stressed and temporarily out of control. One was much more trivial tha the other of course. That is the important point I think. My football supporting life must not be allowed to dominate and ruin my real life. Following Chesterfield FC is, or should be, like living in a parallel universe. It’s am alternative world to escape to every now and then. So, since the defeat I’ve lectured myself with phrases such as: “it’s only a game”, “it’s not the end of the world”, and “get a sense of perspective.” Also in the world of football there is the old adage: “there’s always the next game” Thus I have grounded myself in reality and then returned to my Spireite fantasies with a renewed feeling of hope. At the moment, hope is concentrated on an away match at Carlisle on Saturday.

For some insane reason I will endure about 8 hours of train travel to get there and back. Many would see that as a waste of a day — all to watch a poor, struggling football team in a far away corner of England. But I will travel in hope, revel in the gathering of hundreds of Spireites and will enter upon an emotional, 90 minute roller coaster. Whether I (we) emerge happy and elated, or crest-fallen and in despair, depends entirely on whether our 11 men beat their 11 men in a “silly” game of kicking a ball round a field. Hopefully my vicarious sickness will not have taken a turn for the worse by Saturday evening!